|Edit Article
EMOTIONAL
LETTER TO:-
The Married, The Engaged, The Not – So – Single, The I am in Love,
Those Searching, The Heart Broken, The Naive, The Possessive, Those Afraid to
PROFESS and CONFESS Love, The Cheats, Those Changing Partners, Those Afraid to
INVEST in LOVE, All my Friends.
1. TO THE
MARRIED
Congratulations,
I cherish your togetherness. Meanwhile, remember, love is not about "it's
your fault", but all about "I'm sorry". Love is not about
"where are you", but all about "I'm right here". Love is
not about "how could you", but all about "I understand". Love
is not about "I wish you were", but all about "I'm thankful you
are."
2. TO THE
ENGAGED
Congratulations
too as you have resolved together to go into this perpetual emotional journey.
But remember, the true measure of compatibility is not the years spent
together, but how good you are for each other. Try as much as possible to work
it out, it's one of the best feeling in life. It's worth it.
3. TO THE
NOT-SO-SINGLE
Doing
emotional "interview" by having numerous partners in order to pick
the most "qualified candidate" does not work most times. Stick with
someone your heart and soul yearn for, not the one your eyes search for. Love
is not about becoming someone else's "perfect person." it is about
finding someone who helps you become the best person you can be.
4. TO THE "I'M-IN-LOVE"
I will say
kudos to you too. But remember love sometimes is not all about happiness, but sacrificing
your happiness for someone else's weaknesses. Also have it in mind that it
won't be smooth sailing just like the day you both agreed to go into a
relationship, so be prepared to make symbiotic sacrifices for that ultimate
goal - marriage.
Also be
warned to reduce online "advertisement" of your "boo", most
times it's detrimental, if things didn't go as planned and as thought, you will
be the hardest hit and you might even be converted to a "case study".
Activating
"in a relationship", "engaged" and "being
toasted" button on Facebook might generate little comments and
"likes", but will affect you more if you change the button in the
future again to "Single". Learn to keep important things in your life
secret until they are obvious to others, wait till after marriage, then you can
convert your Facebook page to a photo album, but until then, wait!
5. TO THE
SINGLES
Love is like
a butterfly; the more you chase it, the more it eludes you. But if you just
patiently wait, it will come to you when you least expected it. Love will give
you the best in life and glow your spirit only when you give it to someone who
is really worth it and can reciprocate it. So take your time and choose wisely.
6. TO THOSE
SEARCHING
To my
"course-mates" well done. I know you are searching for your soul
mate, if I get you right, that means someone who thinks, behaves, dresses,
eats, drinks, sleeps, dances, walks, reads, feels and likes all the same things
as you right?
Well, it might
work in a Nollywood or a Hollywood movie, but in reality it's not possible. And
besides, it’s not a healthy type of relationship, you know why? It will grow
out of unresolved insecurities. When your partner's thoughts, feelings and
behaviours mirror your own, you're validated by the illusion of sameness and
it's a way of avoiding uncertainty within the relationship. Eventually, when there
is a difference of opinion, you feel threatened and invalidated.
Before you
know it, you will begin to doubt the relationship, and may even think your
partner is a fake. Aunty/Brother, don't kill off your relationship by expecting
your partner to think, feel and behave the same way you do, instead, celebrate
the differences and make yourself open to diversity. When you do that, your
relationship can become an exciting journey of growth and self-discovery.
7. TO THE
HEARTBROKEN
Hmmmmmn.
According to my friend, nothing last forever, not even aboki's perfume. Heartbreaks
last as long as you want it, and cut as deep as you allow them to go. The
challenge is not how to survive heartbreaks, but how to learn from them. Though
most times, it's difficult to let go, but what will be will be; if you are
meant to be together he/she will surely come back, but if not, there's nothing
you can do. Move on.
8. TO THE
NAIVE
Yes. You keep reading love stories, watching love movies and listening
to love songs. But know one thing, most of the authors of love-books are either
divorced, or having issues with their unions, most of the singers of love songs
are not even in relationships, and most of the actors and actresses in love
movies don't even believe in love because they have either not experienced it
or have been "dealt with" in the past.
Therefore don't believe all
you read, listen to or watch. Take my simple advice; fall in love but don't
stumble, be consistent but not too persistent, share and never be unfair,
understand and try not to be too demanding, get hurt, but never keep the pain.
9. TO THE
POSSESSIVE
It breaks
your heart to see the one you love happy with someone else, but it's more
painful to know that the one you love is unhappy with you. Don't be too
attached. Don't give your happiness to your lover, give yourself much joy, your
happiness should not be dependent on your partner.
The phrases and statements
like "She is the joy of my life", "He is the reason why I'm
breathing", "Without her I'm worthless", "He is my
world" etc. are not practical. Nobody can give you better Joy than the one
you create for yourself. Nobody is your world, you are your own world. Yes,
love increases your happiness, but the key to your happiness and joy is in your
hands. Don't hold love too tight, it might get choked.
10. TO THOSE
AFRAID TO PROFESS AND CONFESS LOVE
Love hurts
when you break up with someone. It hurts even more when someone breaks up with
you. But love hurts the most when the person you love has no idea how you feel.
Tell him/her how you feel, he/she might just be waiting for you to talk.
Nothing stops a woman from approaching the man she loves. The world has gone
beyond "rural" emotion. If you love me, tell me.
11. TO THE
CHEATS
Behind every
untrusting girl is a boy who lied, cheated and broke his promises to her.
Behind every untrusting guy is a girl who toiled with his heart. I'm not
encouraging infidelity, but don't let us be too quick to judge; if witches were
given time to explain why they did what they did, some of them might be right
(a proverb in Okene). But one thing the cheats need to know too is that, they
are not doing anyone any harm but themselves.
12. TO THOSE
CHANGING PARTNERS
Sometimes
within you, you feel justified by changing partners like clothes just because
of few amendable "sins" that you too cannot even exonerate yourself
from, I plead with you to have second thought.
You may think you are still
young and beautiful, but think about it, if you keep changing courses in a
higher institution; sometimes after a year studying a course, sometimes you
have spent like 4 semesters, sometimes you are almost through before you "realize"
that the course is "boring", tell me, when will you graduate?
When
will you even master the discipline? Relationships are not meant to be
projects, if you are spending all your time repairing, fixing, upgrading and
changing, please have a second thought. Besides, you are not getting younger,
every minutes of your life counts.
13. TO THOSE
AFRAID TO INVEST IN LOVE
Just like
business, love itself needs investment before it can grow. All the hype about
"She no want Designer", "She no want Ferrarri" stuff are
pure slogans. The female species that doesn't want money and good things of
life left the surface of the earth around 1340BC, so if any man is looking for
females that doesn't want anything but love will need to consult archeologists.
Both males and females are gold diggers, the different is that some of us are
heavy diggers, some of us are lazy diggers, some of us are occasional diggers
while some of us are simple diggers, but we all dig! Love without
"financial empowerment" no matter how little will shrink with time.
So please invest in your partner and you will reap the reward of your
investment. Love alone is not enough, add money to it and see a better result.
14. TO ALL MY
FRIENDS
My wish for
you is a man/woman whose love is honest, strong, mature, never-ending,
never-changing, ever-upgrading, uplifting, protective, encouraging, rewarding
and unselfish. I'm I missing anything? Fill the gap
Subscribe to our Email Updates to get the latest Articles in your Email instantly: Join our Email subscribers.
No comments:
Post a Comment
RULES FOR COMMENTERS: - 11/30/2018
1) Its good to say your mind about what you have read. Please do make ethical comment(s).
2) COMMENTS WITH UNACCEPTABLE LINKS (URLs) WILL BE DELETED IMMEDIATELY BY THE COMMENT MODERATOR.
If you won't abide by the rules please do not comment.
Thanks.