My Experience With My Deviant Lecturer ( so who is eating this bush meat you carry around?)

By: chidinma igbokweuche

There was this particular lecturer in
my department when I was still in
school. We all knew him to be a
womanizer. He liked all kinds of
women, young, old, fat, thin, tall,
and short. 

Every girl in the department tried as much as possible
not to get noticed by him. That means
doing your assignment with others and
coming to his classes on time so you
don’t have to beg him to enter his
class.
One day, (I am sure it was because I
didn’t pray that morning, it gave
devil the opportunity to deal with
me.) It started with waking up late
for classes that day. When I realized
that it was this lecturer’s class we
had, I just decided that I would miss
the class. 

Only for my friend to ping
me that they were registering the
man’s course. I quickly dressed up
wore my deeper life gown, even white
powder I didn’t apply any makeup that day and i ran
to class. By the time I got to the
department, the man had already
locked the door and took attendance.
That was when I knew i was in for trouble.
I waited till he finished teaching
and i joined the other late comers to
go to his office to beg him. 

 I Forgot to tell you that our lecturers each had
their own office? Well furnished o!

This particular lecturer even had
extra seats and curtains. May be he
normally held prayer sections in his
office, who knows?
I had already cooked up a story. 

I was to tell the man, i planned to tell him 

how I was very sick and just came from the
school medical center. 

Am sure God was just watching me and my plans. (I
already started the day with not praying and now
am about to lie).
We reached the man’s office and
started begging him to please just
let us register the course even if we
will miss the attendance. The man
acted like we were asking Buhari to
legalize gay marriage. I made sure I
was very invincible in the back of
the crowd.

The next thing I heard was “hey you
at the back on glasses, come here”
Shoo! I joined others to turn to see
who he was talking to even though I
knew that it was the wall I was
turning to look at. 

One over-sabi girl just shouted my name 

“Chidinma, he is talking to you o” I just used
my eyes to dissect the girl. I came
closer to the man and he gave me money and some
paper to photocopy for him. In my
mind I was hoping that he will allow
me to register after going for the
errands.

I ran better than Usain Bolt that
day, did the photocopy and came back.
But as I was getting closer to his office
I noticed that my classmates were no
longer there. I became sacred. I
quietly knocked on his door and he
asked me to come in. 

As I stepped in
he asked me to close the door. 

Ah! Close door ke? I just murmured -

the devil is a liar. 

I banged the door
but made sure it wasn’t locked. I
moved closer to him and gave him the
documents.
He now asked me my name I quickly
shouted the name my grandma gave me
(I normally get angry when my
siblings called me the name) “sir, my
name is Erinma”
The next thing he asked me was “so
who is eating this bush meat you
carrying around?”

I quickly checked if I had mistakenly
carried someone’s bush meat when I
went to do photocopy only to see I
was carrying only my bag.
“Sir, it’s just my hand bag am
carrying o; there is no bush meat
here”

Then he said-
“So you don’t know what I mean? You
are trying to pretend in my office?

“No o sir I honestly don’t know.” i replied

Then he asked again,

Ok, then, who is enjoying this bush
meat you are carrying in front of
you. Which of the guys?

Oh! He was talking about breasties.
I suddenly became dumb. And started
calling on my ancestors and God at
the same time to give me the wisdom
he gave Solomon in the bible so I can
I get out of this situation.

“Sir nobody o” i replied

Then he asked-

“Hmm, so when will you give me to
enjoy?”

In my mind I was calculating my
fainting skills incase anything
happened.

“Sir…. Sir” I suddenly became a
stamarer.
I was seriously praying and promising
God to even become a reverend sister
if I can get out from here.
It was like God or my ancestors’
saw that I had suffered enough and
decided to intervene.

He then asked me “where are you from?”
“Enugu” I replied

“Where in Enugu?”

Sir, Ezeagu” I replied

Ah! Ezeagu, I heard they do juju very

well and have produced renowed Spititualist?

I shouted “Yes sir o!, they are very
good at it. 

In fact, both my paternal
and maternal grandparents are well
known native doctors in the village.
Even my dad was also one but recently
converted. See the lies jumping from
my mouth like I was reciting National
Anthem.

“Hmmm, seriously?” he asked looking
almost scared

“Yes sir, you can ask around” I
replied
He immediately brought out the
registration booklet and told me to
find my name and sign across it and
leave his office.
I quickly took the book, signed my
name and ran away.
Since then the man doesn’t even
answer my greeting and I made sure I
escaped his wahala till I graduated.

By: chidinma igbokweuche