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Tade and
Ogidan had been in a relationship for years before they eventually tied the
knot last weekend. Their relationship was fun all the way as it was centered on
romantic displays, picnics and sex wasn't an 'abomination'.
For most
weekends, Tade usually visit Ogidan in his house where she'd cook, launder his
dirty clothes, keep his house and play the role of a wife in bed. They never
for once see it as a taboo because everyone is doing it and the society made
them believe nothing is wrong with it.
How would I
know if we were sexually compatible? How will I know if she can cook, Ogidan
asked sarcastically? They were both Christians who belonged to a popular church
but they do not believe in the words of Christ.
Tade too
lived with the philosophy of knowing how fertile her would-be husband must be
and she can't settle for an amateur or an impotent. And they continued with
premarital sex until the eve of their wedding day.
Fast forward.
After
entertaining guests, friends and families, they retired into their hotel room
at night. Tade and Ogidan weren't looking forward to their wedding night
because they have known themselves. It wasn't a night anticipated for. She was
only expecting to be married to him and become his 'full' wife.
Several
nights after their wedding, their sex life wasn't anything adventurous or
memorable. In Ogidan's mind, he's used to her sexually and she doesn't give him
wild sexual styles as he use to have it with Patience in those good old days.
Their sex life
was dull, unadventurous and they were both tied to their past sexual life
experiences. This later created a crack in their marriage for emotional infidelity,
cheating and adultery. Marriage isn't all about a sexually fulfilled life but
it has more to do with sex.
Adam did not
knew his wife at the instance when God brought her to him, it was after he had
given her a name and they began to live as one.
Do you know
that there are many dangers in premarital sex than the pleasure inherent in it?
What are these dangers?
1. There's no deepening of sexual bond. What's in a bond
when there's no binding element of purity, trust and the fear of God as sex is
consummated? The society won't tell you this!
2. There's room for comparison, you'd rate his or her
performance with the kind of experience you have had in the past. When it comes
to sex in marriage, experience isn't the best teacher. It's better to learn
together and be experienced than to have an outside and destructive exposure
that would tempt you out of your marital faithfulness.
3. You two will not be naked and ashamed because you
have nothing to cover and you're use to each other. This would make sex
unfulfilling.
4. Oneness can't occur when you have shared intimacy
with several partners in the past. There's a fragmented soul which has been
tied to other partners, expect it is prayerfully broken. Just as Ogidan
thought, premarital sex will make you wish you're having sex with a more
experienced partner.
5. Your marriage bed is defiled already and you stand to
receive God's judgment (Heb. 13:4). The
wedding night, if sex would be done ought to be a night of bliss, adventure and
fun. A night when two novice are coming together to consummate their union. A
night where there's no shame or being afraid to be 'naked' to a new experience.
A night
where each other's body is well appreciated and the grace to remain celibate is
acknowledged before God.
Why would you choose to
make your marriage a union of fornicators who would incur God's wrath? Why
would you 'eat' the icing on the cake when everything belongs to you someday?
Why would you bow to
pressure and temptation to engage in premarital sex? When you can say No and
mean it.
Anyone who keeps asking
for sex before marriage isn't truly yours or God's gift to you. God doesn't
give a thing that would violate His word and principles but the devil does to
pervert God's will. Have you lost your sexual purity in the past?
Seek not to
destroy yourself more by giving up or listening to the devil's advice. It's
still worth keeping.
God will give you a new
life if you choose to repent and forsake that wicked practices of premarital
sex. You're His image. You're His temple. He bought you with a price and you're
meant to glorify Him, not your boyfriend or girlfriend, fiancé or fiancée with
your body.
You can't attract God's
blessings in life when you violate His commandments (of sexual purity). I know
He's merciful and forgiving but His kindness doesn't take away the consequences
of your sin. I also know it's not easy to remain celibate but it's possible and
easily done when you're closer to God than to be dining with the devil and be
asking for grace.
Finally,
- Flee fornication and
youthful lust!
- Say NO to premarital
sex!
- Say YES to abstinence
until marriage!
It is possible! Let it
begin with you and encourage a soul out there!
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